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Five Tips For Holiday Shopping.
No time to wait in line!
Warning: This article was made for entertainment purposes only. Please, do not use any of these tips in real life. Lawyers don’t have Black Friday sales.
The holidays are coming in faster than an unwanted snow storm, and with it, the barrage of holiday deals begin. So what, dear reader, will you do with the cornucopia of bargains and waves of fellow shoppers that will stop at nothing to come between you and your $10 microwave?
Well, sit down for a spell and let this internet man enlighten your mind.
- Look For Good Deals!
Go to your local retail shop and corner a lone employee. Threaten them with a bad review and a call to their manager in exchange for early information on holiday deals.
Should they try to run, sprint after them, and tackle them harder than a public school security guard tackling a student for wearing a hat.
Hint: Never leave a tip.
